finale: humoresque

RTF: finale
Dun feel like writing animore... I have been a prolific writer for the past two week...(a prolific generator of crap) Written more crap than i can ever think of for the whole of my eighteen years. Aniwae, i feel sadden my my own thots and lost the momentum to write more and more crap, generate more and more crap, n tok more and more crap...
MY HEISENBERG PRINCIPLE for bloggin is this
nvr write
12: wake
13: read
14: sh*t
15: eat
16: smell feet
17: smell sh*t
18: eat
19: feed
20: watch tv set (staring at the off screen, no good programmes)
21: bloggin
22: sleep
even though tts wad i do everyday...
Like a diarrhea, verbal diarrhea will stop somehow... U noe wad i mean... i.e. either the last boli in ur oesophagus is passed out of your body or u die of dehydration.
Though I got lotsa inspiration to write lotsa crap coz my brain is crappy le...
So here is my finale, humoresque.
I must thank the following sponsors and technical supports without which this crappy blog will never come into being.
http://tabulas.com/~iam
trust this person's artistic sense, it makes sense, lotsa sense, lostsa n lotsa sense, n i start to like bill gilman! (ayumi included) muahAHA!
http://kinomotoyoshiko.chinadiary.com/
high-class blog with words much more profound than mine n guess wad.... I found some my crap quoted on this site! highly honoured (voodoo dolls are abound, beware) muahAHA!
http://www.ericrox.blogspot.com/
no comments. (quite 温馨lah) muahAHA!
http://weloveloiandsiva.blogspot.com
official class blog (LOI rox!!! siva i dun noe) muahAHA!
http://www.houkihoshi.diary-x.com/
this one is my younger twin bro (the blog born juz a few days after my blog is born) muahAHA!
http://20020.diary-x.com/
tis one is the official technical support for music (the irony is itself is unable to support music) muahAHA!

Two more funny blogs (funny in a sense that it is strange or eccentric)
http://www.tabulas.com/~firecheri/
this one a strange one: ardent supporter of my blog! she say my blog is interestin! INTERESTING do you hear that! not lame or crappy, its INTERESTING! and how come she hear me sing opera b4 when i dunno who she is, mmm... mysterious person muahAHA!
http://www.geocities.com/positive_charged/
this one is highly hilarious, more amusing than mine!!!! dunno wadever is she doin... the template is so creative that no one, I MEAN NO ONE will ever try it.
to end off, go to the above site, it says wad i want to say...

tis not the end, it's juz tt i dun feel like bloggin so often... gettin sian le... i will prob. continue... once in two day, four days, one week, two weeks, one month or ONE YEAR?
i dunno, i dun care, depend on my mood bah... probably it's one LIFETIME
who noes? time will tell... space will tell...
in a galaxy far far away, i have proved the relationship between physics and philosophy...
QED.

interlude: number

RTF: Number Theory
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
What m i doin?
I m counting the no. of layer of callous that drop off from my left hand fingers.
I m counting the no. of ants found on my desk that I crushed and squeezed using my left hand fingers.
I have made an important discovery, more important and impotent than any of those made by my old friend EINSTEIN!
i.e. the thickness of skin on my finger seems to decrease in length,
but the no. of ants seem to be increasing!
Here is the famous Cao Taige Number Theory:
Given any no. of callous, there exists a finite no. of layers. As I start peeling, the no. of layers decrease and the thickness of skin decreases in an arithmatic progression with first term=n, where n is the finite no. of layers and common difference of -1.
On the other hand, given any no. of ants on my desk, there exists a finite no. of ants. As I start crushing, the no. of ants increases and the no. increase in a geometric progression with first term=n, where n is the finite no. of ants and common ratio of +1000 and the no. spotted around my desk follow the Poisson distribution. The no. tends to infinity and my keyboard now is fully infested with ants.
alsjfd;lkajawoighoifnval;ntpoiawgl;anmlk;bnl;asdnjllkmnlag
AHHH! I have just killed millions of ants. (base on my theory and prediction 1000 millions will appear)
QED.

rhapsody: emotions

Ha! Last one of my episodes of rhapsodies...

RTF: my emotions, a glimpse of my world...
***
In Chinese, rhapsody is 狂想曲. Since I started blogging, I find that it is quite an unhealthy habit. Well, I do start to reflect, think, comb my thoughts and emotions, however, at the same time, I also begin to understand why Hemingway shoot himself in his head.

Yeah, that's right... Thinking, pondering and feeling too much lead to crazy and insensible thoughts on apparently useless, meaningless things that you, on the contrary, feel meaningful to discuss about.

In society today, it is better to be pragmatic rather than quixotic. Just as stirring the air with a fan will never split mountains, irrational or impratical thoughts and idea will never solve any real life problems.

However, I feel impelled to finish my trilogy of rhapsodies so let me begin now.

Earlier I talked about tesknota and here is the denouement. It is nostalgia in Polish. That is something Chopin has felt... also something that the protagonist in the movie The Pianist has felt. I do not only feel nostalgia but also the sense of reminiscence. I tend to treasure too much things of the past that I sometimes get inundated by feelings of melancholy and regret.

Let me share with you a composition that I wrote in P2 and the laminated piece of drawing block paper is still pasted on the wall above my desk. I can draw pretty well at that time and it is beautifully illustrated using color pencils.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was very lonely because she had just moved to a new country with her parents. She hoped to have a letter from her grandmother. Her wish came true when Mr Postman send a letter to her home. It was from her grandma. The letter made her think even more of her grandma and of the home she left behind.

Well, my life is immersed in reminiscence. I miss Beijing, Xingnan, RV, and most probably HC after I graduate. I always appears to be cynical of the present but deeply, I know someday I will miss it. I am a person of the past.

I am someone who is very vulnerable and easily assailed by my own emotions. I treasure friends, even those I may never meet again, more than they will ever know it. I feel the sense of gratitude to some people more than what I can or dare to express in words. Everyday, I face a deluge of emotions: exaltation, nostalgia, sadness, disappointment, appreciation, love, anger (but never hatred. I have not possessed it, and hope that I never will). Towards each type of feeling, I think I can write pages and pages of thoughts. They are like the rich aroma of kopi-o, so intangible yet intense.

Emotions are dangerous things. They are capable of hurling me into throes of pain and anguish. And I never feel comfortable sharing my emotional turmoil with even my closest buddy.

Today, I reached my singing teacher house in Queenstown early. I sat at the open air garden, watching pieces of clouds drifting lazily across. Ah! Sunburst, the thin streak of ray, something I loved greatly. Then the silence is disrupted insidiously, I heard the faint sound of piano, it was Bach's minuet from Notebook for Anna Magdalena Bach. The murmur of the instrument echoes and resonates somewhere deep in my memory. It reminds me of the days when I just began learning and pondered how 'twas possible to make an octave jump using that tiny fingers of mine. This is the magical moment, the time I am introduced into the realm of music.

When you are striving for spiritual perfection like music, something so intangible unlike material perfection, it is cultivates your patience, soothes your mind and assuages your pain. When practising with high concentration, 心无旁骛, the music dispels all my thoughts. When playing with feeling, my raging and poignant emotions are dissipated and sublimed into the magic I am making.

What is a better companion than music when night falls and you have no one to talk to?

Too sentimental a person I am. But with the power of music, I am confident to face the potpourri of emotions in life. My heart is forever singing till that fateful day...

Phew! I have lost all my impetus to write on any longer. Ha! I feel free now and my emotions have stopped haunting me. Let me continue to be facetious and not dwell on them any longer...
***
Back to probability:

Case 1: If you taken time off to read my nagging, you have just perused my thoughts just like what I did when I wrote. I am eternally grateful for your care for my well-being. Really...

Case 2: If you have not read, well, I am just the jovial person that you know of!

Let me end with a html code.

!-- End #content --

Ha! Lame enough.

QED.
N.B. Third and last time crapping about my thoughts. Even if you like reading this type of stuff, I will not write on thoughts anymore... It is too hurting to write and hurt me no longer.

Clarification: My life isn't so elegiac as what it sound in this entry. I very much do have an upbeat ambience of life. Look, in any piece of music, to me, there are always more ascending than descending notes. It celebrates life, the most wonderful creation in this world. Emotions are part of it and I enjoy them!

interlude: love

RTF: Love
dun get it, still dun get it...
recently always hear 我爱你，爱着你，就像老鼠爱大米。
see... do u see the logical fallacy in this? Those who have taken the old SAT will know, the analogy is wrong. Base on this logical flow, you can derive, 我爱你，爱着你，就像老虎爱人肉。
老鼠:大米=老虎:人肉
=> it is promoting cannabalism isn't it?
Now, my revised version: 我爱你，爱着你，就像泰歌爱money。instead of
我爱你，爱着你，就像老鼠爱大米。
Indeed, that is MUCH better.
QED.

rhapsody: appearance

RTF: appearance vs reality

Q: appearance : reality = x. What is x?

I have a strong yearning these days: to decipher what is real and what appears to be real, to differentiate the apparent from the impalpable, to distinguish between heartfelt expression of emotions and mere demonstration of decorum.

These days have been hot, it has not rained for about 4 days in Yew Tee. When I was walking on the street, I feel like taking my shirt off and let the zephyr gently brush over my body... Nice refreshing feeling... However, I cannot do it. Others will perceive me as eccentric and offbeat. Appearance has triumphed over reality, my true feeling. Since the first day man has used the first piece of leaf to cover his body, we can never forgo appearance as a part of our life.

This reminds me of the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. The tailor has not cheated the king, for he has indeed made the most beautiful clothes in the world, the naked truth of the king himself to be expressed and shown to everyone who have seen him. However, how many of us are willing to accept his offer to be frank with open arms?

Even a child knows that something is wrong.

Listen to the music again... appearance is like the piano and the reality is like the strings. Strings alone cannot weave sounds that touch the mind and piano by itself is just the accompaniment. But together, I have seen it. I have seen Rachmaninov's longing to express his feelings and discovery of an outlet for them in music. It is holistic song of life.

Appearance has so tightly intertwined with reality that within reality lies appearance, and within appearance lies reality.

For the equation, appearance : reality = x, most of us hope that x=0.

You may dedicate your whole life seeking, however, there is no solution for x.

And it is better not to have a solution for x.

QED.

rhapsody: memories

RTF: memory
Well, in physics, we know that there is the wave-particulate nature of light. i.e. light behaves like both a particle and also a wave. So what is memory? Does memory behave like a wave or particle? Or does it exhibits wave-particle duality too?
Memory is analogous to a particle... Every night when you sleep, you pack the memory into another small satchet (or more accurately, the term 'quanta' should be used) and put it into the little brain of yours. As years go by, your brain do not grow in size but your memory does. As time ticks by, drip by drip, memory accumulates.
Memory is like a wave... Everyday, now and then, the memories crash into you like waves and then reflect off, sending more waves of thoughts radiating from you.
Listen to the music...
In the beginning, when life just begins, you learn and remember little. Like a small stream, memory gathers into a turbulent flow of adolescence. Before you realise, lotus petals have unfold themselves and a lotus of life is in full bloom. During the glorious and glamorous days, life is like an overpowering, overwhelming, pompous and majestic melody. However, like the rolling piano accompaniment in the background, memories have never ceased to come back to you. Gently, slowly, life tapers off... No more splendor, fame,... everything is behind you.
What you have left is just memories...
QED.

diversions

RTF: why my blog is so lame
it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame because it is lame ............................................................................
see the logic? Well if you don't even see the simple truth in this, i will attempt to dabble at more profound thoughts about life, chance, memory and music (which is more crap). Nevertheless, i will still attempt to do it next time. I promise.
QED.

time

RTF: Why holiday seems so long
during hols=>more time=>eat more=>larger mass=> bending of space-time continuum=>time DILATION
QED.

probability

RTF: probability of what you are doing
Case 1: If you are not reading my blog, you are cursed by the evil TEDDY
Case 2: If you are reading, i m juz joking
QED.

tips

RTF: tips on sat
1. You must first sit down while doing the test
sit for sat is directly proportional to tit for tat
2. Pencil and erasers are sine qua non,
Indeed, without them is as good as not going
3. MEMORISE the dictionary
MEMORISE...MEMORISE...MEMORISE
QED. isn't it?

tesknota

RTF: meaning of tesknota
tesknota=what i m feeling now and probably forever feeling so
QED.

uncertainty

RTF: Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle
If several identical copies of a system in a given state are prepared, measurements of position and momentum will vary according to known probability distribution; this is the fundamental postulate of quantum mechanics. We could measure the standard deviation Δx of the position measurements and the standard deviation Δp of the momentum measurements. Then we will find that
ΔxΔp>=h/2
where is Planck's constant (h) divided by 2pi. (In some treatments, the "uncertainty" of a variable is taken to be the smallest width of a range which contains 50% of the values, which, in the case of normal distributed variable, leads to a larger lower bound of h/2π for the product of the uncertainties.) Note that this inequality allows for several possibilities: the state could be such that x can be measured with high precision, but then p will only approximately be known, or conversely p could be sharply defined while x cannot be precisely determined. In yet other states, both x and p can be measured with "reasonable" (but not arbitrarily high) precision.
In everyday life, we don't observe these uncertainties because the value of h is extremely small.
QED.
N.B. some physcis, crappings omitted