spring wind II

first, lemme start by thanking guanyin..

guanyin is like spring wind, clearing my thought that shroud my mind..

egg and xr qiu xian but i din coz i dunno wad to qiu for..

they all prayed but i din coz i dunno wad to pray for..

haha.. but on mrt on the way home suddenly my mind cleared.. probably not due to guanyin but i thank her nevertheless...

eh.. suddenly understand the idea of sadness.. my principle is: it always occurs when outcome do not meet expectations.. i feel depressed more easily now coz my expectations are higher for myself and even expect others to behave in a way i hoped.. high expectations makes me strive but when some outcomes cannot be controlled by me, i still have such unreasonable expectations for myself.. so if i can change the outcome by my effort, i will still do what ever it takes, but if i cannot, y not just let the raindrops coalesce slowly into a stream and merge to form river and sea?

i learn to change my expectations when outcomes cannot be changed..

not that i will not feel sad from now on, but i will be more aware.. like this hols, very busy.. i expect hols to be laid back and slack... outcome not true.. i feel sad.. but if i change expectations of a holiday to be making everyday meaningful and do what i enjoy doing, then i am! outcome=expectations=happy!

haha.. oso got some good luck today with final exam results.. thanks to guanyin!

oso must thank guanyin for the frenz i went out today with!

there is so many things in life to be thankful for.. so many taken granted for.. like health.. i very skeptical about books like Tuesday with Morrie cos tis just a feel-good anesthetize-me-for-a-moment book.. haha.. i think these feelings are real only when i experience them myself, not when someone tells me about it..

oh well, i m goin back to thank guanyin nxt time! religions i may not believe in but it does not mean they do not exist.. i have always been respectful and grateful..