finale: duetto
I have grown up... no longer a child to my greatest dismay...
As we grow up, we judge more.. others judges us more, we judges others more and most importantly, we judge ourselves most..
In what manner do we present to others? Is my manners adequate? What others think of me? If I do this, do I leave an impression of sth? Judgment leads to pretence, pretence is nothing but the greatest barrier to my communication..
Can we judge less? Sadly no coz we are already adults... we all well noe the hans anderson’s fable of emperor new clothes, I think I mentioned b4, even though we noe the moral of the story, if we are on the scene, we still do not have the innocence or honesty of the child to proclaim that emperor is naked... We would judge ourselves.. If I blurted this out and laugh out loud.. pple will say I dunno how to appreciate the best costume.. pple will think I rude.. pple will think I weird... Since when does falsity and hypocrisy become an inseparable part of life? They crept surreptitiously into our subconscious...
Singapore, metropolitan city, like a gigantic shopping mall... shop for all material comforts and symbol of wealth... shop for everything that can be bought with money but nothing bought can fill up the spiritual void of mine. Today, we have the luxury of house, luxury of cars (at least bus for me now), luxury of food but we have lost the fundamentals.. the luxury of companionship, the luxury of peace, the luxury of intimacy, the luxury of time.
I sometimes feel so compelled by my emotions... they never fail to haunt me.. it is ever so turbulent, like the swirling twirling restless strokes of van Gough, just that I cannot produce any art piece or music or literature or anything representative. I nvr suffered any real setbacks failure or pain.. but y do I have so much thoughts? I think it is just because that I nid to feel sth to fill up the spiritual gap. therefore I constant seek ways to vent and channel and so lucky I got music and arts for my companionship.
when dealing with people, I tend to be worry-free tigger. I rarely or nvr showed disgruntled face before. My behaviour, my face, my expression and my thoughts stereotyped me this way.. just like no one can imagine mr bean acting in a tragic film... (Btw, i am not really so antisocial.. but it is easy to find friends to share joy but hard to find true friends with whom I can comfortably share woes and thought..) But to myself, I am qed, cos I really hope that life can be quite easily done. Like a maths formula.. simple and clean.. In the twentieth century, there is a movement called surrealism which means that presenting 'self' or emotions that is without artifice or logical reasoning.. tis without any repressed feeling.. I think when alone, that is when I am surreal and I m thoughtful reflective and full of crap..
K. Enuff of crap.. I changed music.. Duet by Mendelssohn in Songs Without Words played my me.. Share with you lar..
Eh bien? I think nid to thank you again.. if no one reading, I dun think I would have lasted so long.. (and wasted so much of my time writing lengthy crap) and haha I still dun really know you.. How intriguing! I ought to noe you from the HSA-JC thingy but din.. then u happen to be xr's friend? Happened to be in a neighbouring fac? Chanced upon my pitiful blog.. I would have completed the anatomy of the entire body.. Shld have reached soleus by now.. U share many interest of mine too! Haha music and I jog often though painstakingly slow too.. Sometimes no time I just climb stairs... good for soleus and gastrocnemius... (but my health advice.. Always take lift to get down! Cos knees will suffer a greater pressure.. lead to problems when old ba when synovial fluids are exhausted..) how coincidental! How cool! Hope to have known you earlier!
At last, to lengthen I present u a poem that inspired me in playing this piece..
Annabel Lee
by Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
Imagine this while playing, got feeling sia! I wished I had his eloquence, and power of expression.. And yeah.. the playing.. still very far cry from wad I expected.. I try and improve day by day ba..
My poignant banal tirade has ended for good.. Lasted one hour.. i shall blog no longer.. At least for the nxt yr... or nxt two years? Or for life? Time will tell... (sound familiar? I am at a loss of words..)
Q.E.D. 27 May 2007
P.S. dun comment or tag (anyway is is impossible to do so now) as I dun think I will return to this blog in the near future....
As we grow up, we judge more.. others judges us more, we judges others more and most importantly, we judge ourselves most..
In what manner do we present to others? Is my manners adequate? What others think of me? If I do this, do I leave an impression of sth? Judgment leads to pretence, pretence is nothing but the greatest barrier to my communication..
Can we judge less? Sadly no coz we are already adults... we all well noe the hans anderson’s fable of emperor new clothes, I think I mentioned b4, even though we noe the moral of the story, if we are on the scene, we still do not have the innocence or honesty of the child to proclaim that emperor is naked... We would judge ourselves.. If I blurted this out and laugh out loud.. pple will say I dunno how to appreciate the best costume.. pple will think I rude.. pple will think I weird... Since when does falsity and hypocrisy become an inseparable part of life? They crept surreptitiously into our subconscious...
Singapore, metropolitan city, like a gigantic shopping mall... shop for all material comforts and symbol of wealth... shop for everything that can be bought with money but nothing bought can fill up the spiritual void of mine. Today, we have the luxury of house, luxury of cars (at least bus for me now), luxury of food but we have lost the fundamentals.. the luxury of companionship, the luxury of peace, the luxury of intimacy, the luxury of time.
I sometimes feel so compelled by my emotions... they never fail to haunt me.. it is ever so turbulent, like the swirling twirling restless strokes of van Gough, just that I cannot produce any art piece or music or literature or anything representative. I nvr suffered any real setbacks failure or pain.. but y do I have so much thoughts? I think it is just because that I nid to feel sth to fill up the spiritual gap. therefore I constant seek ways to vent and channel and so lucky I got music and arts for my companionship.
when dealing with people, I tend to be worry-free tigger. I rarely or nvr showed disgruntled face before. My behaviour, my face, my expression and my thoughts stereotyped me this way.. just like no one can imagine mr bean acting in a tragic film... (Btw, i am not really so antisocial.. but it is easy to find friends to share joy but hard to find true friends with whom I can comfortably share woes and thought..) But to myself, I am qed, cos I really hope that life can be quite easily done. Like a maths formula.. simple and clean.. In the twentieth century, there is a movement called surrealism which means that presenting 'self' or emotions that is without artifice or logical reasoning.. tis without any repressed feeling.. I think when alone, that is when I am surreal and I m thoughtful reflective and full of crap..
K. Enuff of crap.. I changed music.. Duet by Mendelssohn in Songs Without Words played my me.. Share with you lar..
Eh bien? I think nid to thank you again.. if no one reading, I dun think I would have lasted so long.. (and wasted so much of my time writing lengthy crap) and haha I still dun really know you.. How intriguing! I ought to noe you from the HSA-JC thingy but din.. then u happen to be xr's friend? Happened to be in a neighbouring fac? Chanced upon my pitiful blog.. I would have completed the anatomy of the entire body.. Shld have reached soleus by now.. U share many interest of mine too! Haha music and I jog often though painstakingly slow too.. Sometimes no time I just climb stairs... good for soleus and gastrocnemius... (but my health advice.. Always take lift to get down! Cos knees will suffer a greater pressure.. lead to problems when old ba when synovial fluids are exhausted..) how coincidental! How cool! Hope to have known you earlier!
At last, to lengthen I present u a poem that inspired me in playing this piece..
Annabel Lee
by Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
Imagine this while playing, got feeling sia! I wished I had his eloquence, and power of expression.. And yeah.. the playing.. still very far cry from wad I expected.. I try and improve day by day ba..
My poignant banal tirade has ended for good.. Lasted one hour.. i shall blog no longer.. At least for the nxt yr... or nxt two years? Or for life? Time will tell... (sound familiar? I am at a loss of words..)
Q.E.D. 27 May 2007
P.S. dun comment or tag (anyway is is impossible to do so now) as I dun think I will return to this blog in the near future....
posted by qed at 10:26 AM
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