waste

Y is it so hard to refuse people? After my very pro singing tchr left last yr, i tried out a few and met this not very pro tchr from whom i learnt nothing much.. so i stopped.. he ask me to join his choir and pestered me for like so damn long b4 i agreed to give a try last week.. Turned out that i learnt nothing from it at all..

i m a practical person, if i feel there is nothing to gain, i will not want to do such things.. but tis just SO hard to refuse people.. yah.. then my usual technique of showing unwillingness and drag.. but he doesnt seem to get it.. nvm.. i will try do the same thing again after a few weeks.. Tis like i have sung in a choir for like four yrs already and still ask me to join and learn how to sing even more substandard pieces? their std is like so much lower than my sec sch choir lor.. still wan me to help to strengthen the baritone part and dun teach me tangible tchnques of singing? wait long long..

Another thing, if i wan to join choir, one impt factor would be to socialise and interact with people but the age group there is top of the population pyramid.. yeah, they are all very kind and nice pple, but there is not much common topic to talk about...

but i feel bad refusing him, he is very sincere in asking along to join.. but hasnt everyone got a motive? he just wan me to boost his choir and also more imptly show that not only the old, but also the young are interested in his choir..

argh! a waste of time..

bloggin is somewhat too.. i think i have summarised it well to be narcisism+self pity+boredom.. do pple really nid to be so repentant at times? some pple are not at all so reflective and lead a much happier life.. probably tis really that man are social creatures and demand for someone to listen to his grumbles and demand to be welcomed and popular.. No wonder pple want to be monks.. they are willing to give up their emotions for an inner peace.. eh.. not that i want to chu jia aniwae but this goes to show how much pple are willing to sacrifice.. meat and lust and elation and their loved ones.. wah.. i guess i have to stop, the more i write the more i feel sad and as if i m sitting in a booth, like a sinner repenting to the pastor..

oh yeah.. xr introduced anime yamato which i watched like 4 episode and now watching the 5th.. very lame but quite cute lah.. another waste of time but tis time i have willingly wasted cos i feel so DARN bored at home.. crappy excuse.. i have like 9000 pages to mug.. and not as if i have done so well in ca either.. tis study break! NOT holiday!!!!!!!

convinced myself to settle down and mug? tis a must to so.. i nid to lead a puritanistic way of life.. eat.. sleep.. mug.. mug.. mug.. eat.. sleep.. mug.. i really dun wan to take re-exam and waste my true last long holiday!

thousand of miles start with the first step.. 9000 pages start from the first! i shld start NOW! (aiyah.. still got 3 weeks.. wad the hurry?) no.. i really should start now.. (aiyah.. shld be can pass) cannot.. get all c report sheet very nice meh.. (aiyah.. work so hard probably oso get c leh? then waste effort wad).. i always wanted to do what my mind tell me to do, but the problem is i have a confused and chaotic mind..

ARGH.. i m getting psychotic le.. oh yeah.. i shld say i m very well.. not psychotic at all...